Gearrscannán: Fluent Dysphasia

Gearrscannán: Fluent Dysphasia

SCRIPT

FLUENT DYSPHASIA

Written by Daniel O'Hara May 2004

Copyright Dough Productions 2004

1. INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT 1

   CLOSE UP on a DINNER of SAUSAGES, BEANS and POTATO WAFFLES being

   devoured.

   A father, MURPH (45), and daughter, JANE (15), sit at the table. They eat their meal in a long, uncomfortable silence.

   The silence is eventually broken, when Murph tosses his CUTLERY onto his PLATE. He is about to get up, but hesitates. He looks at his daughter, trying to think of something to say to her.

   MURPH

   (still chewing)

   You done your homework yet?

   Jane sees a glimmer of hope, and latches on to the olive branch he has offered.

   JANE

   (hopeful)

   I might need some help.

   Murph is nervous. This is more commitment than he expected. He swallows his food.

   MURPH

   (cautiously) What subject?

   JANE

   (thinks quickly) Irish.

   Murph seems to be satisfied that they have had a conversation at all. He uses his get-out clause.

   MURPH

   (almost proudly)

   Sure, I never had a word of Irish.

   Jane can’t look him in the eye as he gets up from the table, leaving the dishes behind him. He grabs his JACKET from the back of his chair and leaves the room.

   CUT TO:

2. INT. PUB – NIGHT 2

   Murph and SEAN (30) stand, clutching their PINTS, in a crowd of FOOTBALL FANS around the TV.

   CUT TO:

3. INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT 3

   Jane sits at the table, doing her homework. The dishes are piled up in the SINK behind her. She struggles to keep in the TEARS.

   CUT TO:

4. INT. PUB – NIGHT 4

   Murph, Sean and the other fans anxiously watch the TV, as if their lives depended on it.

   CUT TO:

5. INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT 5

   Jane finishes her homework, closes her books and RUBS HER EYES. She gets up from the table and notices the dishes piled up in the sink.

   CUT TO:

6. INT. PUB – NIGHT 6

   Murph and friends leap for joy. Arsenal have scored!

   CUT TO:

7. INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT 7

   Jane momentarily considers washing the dishes, then thinks better of it. She switches off the light.

   CUT TO:

8. INT. BEDROOM – DAY 8

   Murph wakes with a start and sits up in bed. He looks like he has woken from a nightmare, but isn’t convinced it’s over. He looks around the room, as if confused as to how he got there. He looks down and sees that he’s wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday.

   CUT TO:

9. INT. BATHROOM – DAY 9

   Murph looks long and hard at himself in the mirror, then looks away.

   CUT TO:

10. INT. KITCHEN – DAY 10

    CLOSE UP as MILK is POURED into a MUG of coffee. It CHANGES COLOUR as it is stirred.

    Just as Murph is about to take his first sip of coffee, the PHONE RINGS. He picks it up.

    MURPH

    Dia dhuit, Micheál ó Murchú anseo.

    He is so astonished by what he has just said that he DROPS the phone onto the counter. A distant VOICE is barely audible.

    Murph leans towards the receiver with extreme caution, afraid to touch it. He attempts to speak in English but can’t get the words out.

    MURPH (CONT’D)

    Wh…wh…wh- cé ‘tá ansin?

    He panics and SLAMS down the receiver. He looks around the room, absolutely gobsmacked. He tries to speak again, FORCING HIS MOUTH to shape the words.

    MURPH (CONT’D)

    I…I… Is mise Micheál. Wh…wh- Caidé tháinig orm?!

    CUT TO:

11. EXT. HOUSE – DAY 11

    Murph pulls on his jacket as he shuts the front door behind him. He keeps his head down.

    CUT TO:

12. EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

    Murph walks in.

    12

    CUT TO:

13. INT. TRAIN STATION – DAY 13

    Murph steps up to the COUNTER and puts some COINS down in front of the ATTENDANT (28), who peers over his NEWSPAPER before taking his feet down off the counter, as if it is a major inconvenience. The attendant’s speech is slightly MUFFLED by the GLASS between him and Murph.

    ATTENDANT

    (sighs)

    Where are you going?

    No answer. Murph, not really listening to him, gestures towards the coins.

    ATTENDANT (CONT’D)

    Hello? Pal? Where to?

    Murph hesitates. He is sweating, terrified.

    ATTENDANT (CONT’D)

    (losing patience)

    Do you want a ticket or not? What station are you going to?

    MURPH

    (barely audible) Bóthar Chluain Tairbh.

    ATTENDANT

    Where?

    MURPH

    Bóthar Chluain Tairbh.

    The attendant’s eyes light up. He changes his tune.

    ATTENDANT

    (friendly)

    Oh, you’re a Gaeilgeoir, are ya?

    Murph shifts uncomfortably, as he waits for his ticket.

    ATTENDANT (CONT’D)

    (passionately)

    Aw, I love the Irish, me. Love it. Go n’éirí an bóthar leat, and all that. Céad míle fáilte, wha’?

    Filled with fear, Murph takes his ticket and leaves. The attendant calls after him.

    ATTENDANT (CONT’D)

    Slán, a bhuachaill!

    CUT TO:

14. EXT. SEAN’S HOUSE – DAY 14

    Murph is at the front door, nervously waiting for an answer.

    Finally a sleepy Sean opens the door, wearing a DRESSING GOWN, obviously stolen from a hotel, hanging open to reveal a Zig & Zag T-SHIRT and his BOXER SHORTS. He steps out onto the footpath and HOLDS OPEN his dressing gown, letting the morning air at his body.

    SEAN

    What’s the story, Murph? A bit early, isn’t it?

    Murph blurts it out.

    MURPH

    A Sheáin, tá me i dtrioblóid. Cha dtig liom labhairt i gceart.

    Sean laughs. He hasn’t a clue what Murph is saying.

    SEAN

    Huh?

    MURPH

    (deadly serious)

    Mhuscail mé agus mé ag caint i nGaelic. Níl focal Béarla agam.

    Sean begins to get a little worried.

    SEAN

    What are you saying, Murph? You’re kinda scaring me.

    Murph doesn’t understand what Sean is saying either.

    MURPH

    (confused) Caidé tu ‘ráit?

    The penny drops.

    MURPH (CONT’D)

    (panics)

    Cha dtuigim Béarla!

    Murph is scared and angry. He grabs Sean by the collar of his dressing gown. By now, Sean is petrified.

    MURPH (CONT’D)

    (shouting)

    Caidé tharla aréir?! Caidé tharla domh?!

    Sean is really freaked out. He SCREAMS, pulls away from Murph and goes back inside, SLAMMING the door behind him.

    The LETTERBOX opens and Sean speaks through it.

    SEAN

    (whimpering)

    I don’t know what’s wrong with you, Murph, but you’re scaring me. I think you might be possessed. You need to get professional help. I’d like to help you, but I’m not a professional.

    MURPH

    (angrily)

    Caidé atá a ráit agat? Caidé a tharla aréir?!

    SEAN

    (petrified)

    Devil begone! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!

    Murph walks away in disgust. The letterbox closes.

    CUT TO:

15. EXT. MURPH’S HOUSE – DAY 15

    Murph is sitting at the front door, his head in his hands. Jane arrives back from school with TWO FRIENDS, who walk on as she goes through her front GATE. As she walks past Murph to put her KEY in the door, she barely acknowledges him.

    JANE

    Dad.

    He looks up.

    MURPH

    (desperate)

    An dtuigeann tú mé?

    She does a double take. He tries again.

    MURPH (CONT’D)

    An dtuigeann tú Gaeilge?

    JANE

    (cautiously) Tuigim.

    Murph is relieved, but still desperate.

    MURPH

    D’éirigh me inniú agus mé ag labhairt i nGaelic. Cha dtuigim focal Béarla.

    JANE

    (puzzled) Ni thuigim.

    MURPH

    (almost in tears)

    Ta se níos measa na mar a shíl me!

    Jane SITS beside him.

    JANE

    No. Tuigim cad a deir tu. Ní thuigim conas a bhfuil tú in ann Gaeilge a labhairt.

    MURPH

    Cha dtuigim fhéin.

    BEAT     Ar a laghad tá tusa ábalta labhairt liom.

    BEAT      Ach caidé faoin Bhéarla? Cha dtig liom labhairt le a’nduine eile.

    Jane thinks. She looks at the distraught Murph.

    JANE

    B’fhéidir go mbeadh mé in ann cabhrú leat.

    MURPH

    (sees hope) Do bharúil?

    JANE

    Déanfaimid iarracht air…

    CUT TO:

16. EXT. CHILDREN’S PLAYGROUND – DAY 16

    Murph and Jane sit side by side on two SWINGS. Murph is

    concentrating on a BOOK, while Jane points over his shoulder at the pages. Closer inspection REVEALS that it is a CHILDREN’S ABC BOOK with CARDBOARD PAGES. Jane is enjoying this, while Murph is finding it quite tough work.

    JANE

    (points) Apple.

    MURPH

    (struggling) A-pell.

    JANE

    (turns the page for him) Balloon.

    MURPH

    (concentrating) B…bolloon.

    JANE

    (turns the page)

    Cake.

    MURPH

    (this is a tough one)

    Caaa…yke.

    He heaves a sigh, and looks to Jane for approval.

    JANE

    (smiling) Maith an fear.

    He smiles meekly back, then turns the page.

    A CARDBOARD DRAGON pops up out of the book. Murph can’t take any more.

    MURPH

    (frustrated)

    Ach chan seo go leor! Cha dtig liom seo a fhoghlaim ó thús arist!

    He stands up and THROWS the book on the ground.

    MURPH (CONT’D)

    (throwing a tantrum)

    Caidé a dhéanfaidh me? Níl me ábalta labhairt le a’nduine!

    He storms off, leaving Jane sitting alone. She stares at the book on the ground.

    CUT TO:

17. INT. KITCHEN – DAY 17

    Jane and Murph sit in silence at the table. The SUNDAY NEWSPAPER lies unopened on the table. Jane pushes the leftover FOOD around her PLATE with her FORK. She throws the odd GLANCE towards Murph, who just sits with his head in his hands.

    The DOORBELL RINGS. Murph doesn’t flinch. He obviously has no intention of moving, so Jane gets up to answer it.

    CUT TO:

18. EXT. FRONT DOOR – DAY 18

    Jane opens the door to reveal Sean, nervously clutching a

    CRUCIFIX. He stares at her, not sure if she is “infected” as well.

    JANE

    (flatly) Hi Sean.

    Sean relaxes and puts away the crucufix.

    SEAN

    Oh right, you’re OK. Great.

    BEAT      Murph in, is he?

    JANE

    I don’t think he’s up to seeing anyone just now.

    She begins to close the door. Sean interrupts.

    SEAN

    No, no, no, I think I know what happened to him.

    Jane stops. She stares him up and down. Sean produces a folded piece of PAPER from his pocket. She turns her back, leaving the door open for him and walks back inside.

    CUT TO:

19. INT. KITCHEN – DAY 19

    Sean and Jane enter. Murph looks up and nods at Sean, who nods nervously back. Sean clears his throat and prepares to read from his NOTE.

    SEAN

    Me nephew Cornelius helped me with this. Had to give him a tenner for it.

    Murph looks frustrated. Jane explains, as if Sean should know already.

    JANE

    He doesn’t understand English.

    SEAN

    (remembers) Oh, right. Right.

    He clears his throat again.

    SEAN (CONT’D)

    (far from fluent)

    Tá a fhios agam cad a tharla duit. Bhí tú – agus mé – ag dul abhaile an oíche faoi dheireadh, tar éis an cluiche peile.

    CUT TO:

20. EXT. CHIP SHOP – NIGHT 20

    FLASHBACK to the previous night. Murph and Sean STAGGER their way into a CHIP SHOP.

    Murph spills his CHANGE on the floor near the door of the chip shop. Sean turns and BUMPS into him as he bends back up. Murph SMACKS his head off the DOOR.

    SEAN (V.O.)

    Rinne méiarracht garrcabhair a thabhairt duit, ach ní raibh mé in ann tú a tógáil ar ais.

    As he lies UNCONSCIOUS on the floor of the chip shop, Sean KICKS him to see if he is alright. Then picks up Murph’s chips.

    CUT TO:

21. INT. KITCHEN – DAY 21

    Back to tonight. Silence. Jane and Murph are both glaring at Sean.

    SEAN

    (defensively) Timpiste a bhí ann.

    BEAT

    SEAN (CONT’D)

    Tá brón orm gur cheap mé go raibh tú… possessed. Me nephew didn’t know the word for that.

    Murph rubs the back of his head.

    MURPH

    Bhuail mé mo chloigeann…?

    JANE

    Ach conas a dheiseoimid an fhadhb?

    Sean is wearing a blank expression. He doesn’t understand a word. Jane spells it out.

    JANE (CONT’D)

    What do we do now?

    Sean looks back to his nephew’s note for a solution.

    SEAN

    (surprised)

    Oh, hang on. There’s another bit here. Tá orainn tú a bhuail ar do cheann arís.

    He grins, quite proud of himself. Jane reacts to this suggestion with the contempt it deserves.

    JANE

    What!?

    MURPH

    (decisive)

    Tá an ceart aige. Caithfidh sibh mé a bhualadh ar mo cheann aríst.

    He gets up and grabs a large FRYING PAN. He makes the action of hitting himself with it.

    JANE

    Ní bhuailfimid tú ar do cheann. Seift contúirteach é sin. B’fheidir go mbeidh tú gortaithe.

    MURPH

    Chaithfidh sibh. Cha dtig liom fanacht mar seo.

    Murph reaches for Sean with the frying pan. Sean FLINCHES, then realises what Murph wants him to do.

    SEAN

    Oh yeah. No problem.

    He takes the frying pan and SWINGS it back, about to strike. Jane takes it out of his hands like a parent confiscating a dangerous toy.

    JANE

    You’re not going to hit him! You got him into this mess.

    Sean shrugs. A slightly SINISTER look crosses Jane’s face.

    JANE (CONT’D)

    I’ll do it.

    Murph braces himself. Jane steadies herself. Sean closes his eyes and BLESSES HIMSELF.

    Jane SWINGS and the frying pan connects with a WHACK. Murph YELLS with pain.

    MURPH

    (angrily)

    Tá tusa i dtrioblóid i ndiadh ‘seo! Char éirigh leat! Nach bfhuil cumhacht ar bith agat-

    Jane grits her teeth and swings even harder this time. She HITS him before he can finish his sentence.

    CUT TO:

    Murph’s POV as Jane swings the frying pan at him. SMACK!

    CUT TO:

22. INT. KITCHEN – DAY 22

    A CONCERNED-looking Jane and Sean slowly drift into FOCUS.

    CLOSE UP on Murph’s stunned visage. He’s lying flat out on the floor. He GROANS and RUBS HIS HEAD.

    MURPH

    (groaning)

    Ohh, ma tete. J' aurais dû aller voir un orthophoniste - ç'aurait été moins douloureux.

    BEAT as he realises what has happened.

    MURPH (CONT’D)

    Merde alors!

23. EXT. PARIS - DAY 23

Over the END CREDITS, we see home video footage of Murph and Jane on holidays, finally enjoying happy times together.

END CREDITS

Achoimre an scéal: Marc Liblin - Scéal Marc Liblin (PDF)